what happens when grief and betrayal mix?

A Reflection Byte

**Trigger warning: This story involves the mention of suicidal ideation.**

What if your partner, who was in perfect health, suddenly died after a bizarre accident?

Now what if you were brave enough to find love again and felt so strongly about this new person that you made plans to marry and spend the rest of your lives together? How fortunate would you feel?

Now, imagine that you plan your perfect wedding and your new partner suddenly and tragically dies THE DAY BEFORE your wedding day?

The utter devastation! You spend untold months grieving while battling crippling depression and your own suicidal thoughts.

Would you question your will to continue living? Yes, and understandably so.

Especially as you watch your friends and peers find their soulmates, marry and start their own “happily ever after” stories.

Now, what if you finally made it through the darkest and most hopeless of times and suddenly learned that the person you'd been grieving, your late fiancé, had deeply BETRAYED you?

What happens to your grief then? What happens when grief and betrayal mix?

Such is the story of Kaitlin Palmieri, who learned that the man she'd planned to marry had been cheating on her even as they were making wedding and life plans.

At only 33 years old, he died suddenly the night before their wedding of a heart attack, and years later, while honoring his memory on social media, his secret activities became known to Kaitlin.

Read her story on The Guardian.

And watch her recall the details here:

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I've helped hundreds of couples in therapy over many years now and despite all of the shocking betrayal stories I've heard, this one stopped me in my tracks!

I don’t know if I personally could’ve survived the loss and tragedy this woman has been through, especially while in my 30s.

However, what struck me most was how incredibly strong and resilient Kaitlin’s spirit was to keep living. And how her learning of the betrayal suddenly changed her whole perspective on her grief.

She CHOSE LIFE and eventually developed an iron clad will to not just stay alive, but to live a HAPPY life!

Grief is complicated. Love, when it's healthy, shouldn't be.

If you have a hunch that something isn't right in your own relationship, pay attention to the subtle signs. Our intuition can be a powerful guide and help protect us when we most need it.

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I'm dedicated to making Relationship Bytes a safe space to share your reactions and personal stories. Comments are welcome!

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